Here’s the problem in all it’s mundane glory: The catalogue picture of our cabinets (the picture on the left – but ours are natural maple, without all the banister-looking trim things) features a certain type of pull. They’re thin and traditional, and complement the cabinets without being too obvious. They’re like good jewelry for the kitchen!
But those pulls are dark, and apparently unique in all the world. Nothing like them exists in any sort of brushed nickel variation anywhere on the planet. I’ve gone to knob/pull stores and visited knob/pull websites. My eyes are bleary with knob/pull-ness. And yet it feels like a hole I’m in too deep to pull myself out of – by caring this much already, it feels like a waste of life to stop caring now. It’s taken on this deranged significance, as if my cabinet hardware has to represent who I am as a person, my design aesthetic and point of view. (Clearly, I’ve been watching too much Project Runway.)
I am embarrassed to admit this. It is shallow and privileged and the epitome of silly. Which is why it feels important to admit. This feels like the sort of thing that could multiply and take over if left unchecked, and soon I’d be scouring home decor magazines for Martha Stewart’s recommendation for the perfect recycling bins to compliment the hybrid grass I’ll cut by hand with tiny scissors so my lawn will tell you what a good person I am.
So let’s just be clear now: I’m not a very good person. I’m solidly mediocre, with occasional flashes of okay-ness. But if you ever see my lawn looking spiffy (or if I find the perfect pulls!) don’t be fooled.
Do you have things like this – simple choices that become obsessive traps into which you pour time and energy, doing the same web search again and again, hoping the results will be different? If so, how do you break free? How do you pick something and be happy with it and move on?