Road to Adoption: A Brief Pause

I’m blogging about our family’s experience with adopting two kids from foster care, in the hopes that it will encourage you to consider it, too. You can read the beginning of the series here. I’ve been absent for about a month, so we’re kicking off with a bit of an explanation, and then a plan for how these blogs will move forward.

I apologize for the long silence! I got stuck in our narrative when I realized that we’re at the part that involves sharing specifically about our kids, rather than just about Steve & me. I got stuck here for a couple of reasons:

First, the Cherubs are REALLY private. We actually have a code phrase Steve & I use when we’re talking to new people (who often ask really personal questions about the kids’ past totally within earshot of them) that the kids know means, “I’m answering this in a friendly way, but don’t worry – I’m not telling any of your business.”  I suspect that they read this blog sometimes (Hi guys! I love you!) and I know they would be really upset if I shared personal specifics about them and what the past year has looked like as we’ve all worked incredibly hard to become a family.  So I’ve been wrestling with how to tell the story of this important, complex part of adoption without violating their privacy.

The other factor is that I’ve never been comfortable reading “mom blogs” where the kids are used as a platform.

So here’s what we’re going to do:

I will pickup our adoption story where we left off. For the portions about the kids, instead of using specifics from our family, I will use a combination of other people’s stories, similar to what I did in He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, where I combined a few ex-boyfriends to protect their privacy (and prevent some innocent reader from learning that I dated her husband back in college). Everything will be TRUE, in that it happened. But it won’t be stuff that happened with The Cherubs. So if I share a story about #1 Cherub running through a crowded restaurant screaming, “You SUCK! I hate you!” – know that the real #1 Cherub never did that. And if the story is how the kids love to clean and do chores to help keep our house looking lovely, know that that never happened, either.

In this,  I’ll do my best to keep the parts about Steve & I real – how we rely on a combination of instinct, things we’ve learned from experts and wise friends, and our ever-growing data pile about what does & does not work.

One more thing: We are so encouraged by how many of you have reached out to share with us that you’re considering adopting through foster care! Bless you!  Know that you’re prayed for, and we want to help you however we can.

Thanks for reading our story.