I hadn’t planned to blog again today. Then this big chicken story broke.

Behold, Big Boss:

As a writer for CNN observed, “It’s like the prologue to a poultry-themed apocalypse novel.”

It demands a response.

First, let me establish my chicken credentials, so Big Boss knows who he is dealing with.

I have a rooster-themed spoon holder.

And a Chickens Of the World dish towel.

I welcome chickens from other countries.

And celebrate differently-abled chickens.

But Big Boss should notice some commonalities among my favorite chickens. A certain…fixedness. He should know that I am not a fan of chickens in motion.

Now the truth is, if Big Boss is breeding an army, it’s likely that he sees us as a viable target and might be plotting a takeover.

We need a plan, people.  Because even though my local supermarket can rotisserie this guy’s little cousins like nobody’s business…

…and I’ve rumbled with a chicken or two myself

This may call for something bigger.

But never fear, friends.

We have Beyonce.